Lane's 5th Birthday letter from Mommy

Dear Lane,

You were the first baby. The baby who made me a mother. Who showed me my greatest passion in this life. And now? You are truly a big boy. All evidence of babyhood is long gone. Your little baby gut has disappeared and now you have little abs where that baby chubbiness once was. Your chunky fingers are now long, your hands beginning to lose that sweet baby softness. You make your own bed, completely dress yourself, and truly help with household chores. 

 I'm simply in awe of the person you are becoming. I wonder how your huge heart possibly fits in your small chest. You love so fully and so completely and give your whole self to everything you do and everyone you love. You inspire me on a daily basis to be a better person. To put others ahead of myself and to live a life for Jesus. I can only imagine the ways you will lead your peers in the years to come. (I know you are going to be great...but letting you go do that is not easy for this momma). You are a light in this world...and daddy has ALWAYS said that about you....even before you were born daddy knew you were going to be!   God has called you to bring others to Him and I have full faith that you will do amazing things for His kingdom. 

I love the closeness that we share. We are cut from the same mold in so many ways. Even though you look JUST like daddy!!  I love that we understand each other in our special way.  You think deeply and have a tender heart. I love our talks as well as listen to you as you share your thoughts and feelings with me. You are mature beyond your years in so many ways, and I do my best not to allow you to grow up too quickly. However sometimes that's hard because you are constantly a step ahead. I love that about you. You are so inspiring to me. I cherish the moments of your silliness. Your goofy songs, silly games, and your infections laugh. 

Seeing you with your brothers never gets old for me. I am so thankful for the love you have for them and the intense desire you have to protect them and watch over them. Sometimes you use it to your advantage that they adore you! Seeing you with Luke is a bond I've never before seen. From the moment you first met him, you were just in love! Your face lights up every time you see him and you have pure joy in your eyes. I pray as they grow up that you will only continue to feel so strongly about them both. I know it's a lot of pressure for you being the oldest child, but you wear the badge proudly and always step up to the plate. You handle responsibilities with great care and do a very good job staying patient when the boys aren't able to relate to the things you try to explain to them.

 

And like to everyone else, you are contagious to Lyric! Your spirit makes him so happy and I can TRULEY trust you to watch him!!! You have an amazing protective love for Lyric and CONSTANTLY say to me "he's just so cute" with gritted teeth!! 

This past year has been so amazing. 

I am so thankful for your easy-going spirit. You make the tough days a little easier for me and you never complain when your desires sometimes get put on the back burner because life is often crazy. You are quick to step in and offer a helping hand when it's needed and you have the ability to smooth over situations that may be a little out of hand (aka when your toddler brother has a tough day!). I always, always appreciate you and never want you to think that your contributions to our family go unnoticed or unappreciated. I thank God for you many times a day. You are a blessing to us all and to all who meet you!

I cannot get over the many ways you have grown up this year. Physically, yes, but also in your abilities. Your reading amazes me. You read with such emotion in your words and can read so well and so easily. I love that you enjoy reading and I especially love our reading time together. You are a great student in school. The excitement you have every single day to whip your craft out of your backpack never lessens. 

As we look ahead to school in the fall I have such a mixture of emotions. I know, 100%, that you are READY and that you will do AMAZING. You will make so many friends and have so much fun and I truly believe this year was a great preparation time for the transition for you. While you may be ready, I'm pretty much a wreck about it. I will miss having you home with us. I will miss you being here so many times through out the day. I will miss you. And it's hard for me to let you go and be in such a big school. It's a big transition for you, but it's also a big one for me. And it's another step towards your independence. I have worked hard to prepare you for this world and I pray that I have guided you on a path that will help you resist the dark temptations and help bring others towards the light. I know it will be a home run on your end. There isn't anything you do without doing it with all your might! 

As I think about your future I see you being such a strong leader. I can picture you being a loving and devoted husband. A very hands-on father. I'm truly so thankful for the amazing example you have from your daddy on the kind of man to strive to be. I hope that I am showing you the type of woman you hope to find as a wife. I mean you do always say "Mommy....you're my favorite girl". I pray I will be and encourage you to always know that just like God chose me for your mommy....His choice for your wife will be above all the best.  

You have really begun to listen and pay attention during school and kidzlink and when you come into regular church service you play more of an active role in worship. Easter was amazing!! It's precious to hear you sing the songs and hear you "preach" to your brother. I know the day will come soon when you will be involved in the worship band! I can picture you leading prayers and songs.  More than anything though I hope you live a life for Jesus and marry someone who will have the goal of Heaven with you. I pray you stay where you are and only continue to grow and lead your children down a righteous path!

I often tell you how much I love you and how special you are to me. I mean it wholeheartedly. You are so loved! From your head to your toes you are exactly who God wanted to be my son. I wouldn't change a single thing and I'm just so thankful to be your mom. I love that my role as your parent is now in a more guidance phase than one of correction and discipline. You know right from wrong, you have your own conscious that guides you in your decision making. And wow is it an amazing conscious! Far better than mine ever was. I'm here to help guide you, correct you as needed, and support you. I always want you to know that the lines of communication are open with me. I know, especially as a boy, that you may not always feel comfortable showing emotions to others...but you can always show them to me! 

It seems like there has been such a big change from being 4 to 5.  More than any other year I just feel like you have grown up SO much! I always say that you are a "real kid now" and it's true. This year is sure to be so fun together! I look forward to all the "just me and you" times as well as all the special moments you bring to every day life! 

I am so, SO proud of you Lane.  For the good choices you make but, even more so, for the wonderful person that you are. Thank you for being my son and I hope that you will never grow out of wanting to tell me about your day, having me be silly with you before bed, and letting me hold your sweet hand. 

I love you the wholest-

Love,

Your favorite girl...

Mommy