Isn't that the same about everything in life? We often want what's best for what we care the most about. Yet, we often fail the hardest in those same areas. It is kind of like when you were a kid (or a dramatic 15 year old girl) and you would come home from school completely shattered by your day, friends, boyfriend, etc...and you would lash out insanely towards your mom(who had warm cookies waiting when you walked in the door)....ok well maybe that was just me but it seemed like the one who loved me the most and who I loved the most I treated the worst(in those years).
I don't want to repeat those tendencies in my adult life.
And thankfully with the help of God I can succeed and put my best into those that love me the most instead of living in the "they love me no matter what" phase.
That is so true isn't it?
Your family loves you no matter what-so why is it that we are super polite and loving wearing our best dressed Christian attitude to the ladies at the bank window-but then out husband comes home late from work or our kid spills his entire plate on the floor...satan literally looks polite compared to you?
Man I hate those unglued moments!
I have been reading a book called unglued and it is super helpful!! One thing I have grasped lately is that I need to change my thought pattern in order to change my responses.
The bible says...
Do NOT (emphasis mine) conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing, and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)
Renewing our minds with NEW thoughts is crucial.
I learned in this book that...
We forget most of our random thoughts, however we retain the thoughts that are tied to our emotions.
For example...if i thought over and over that I was "unglued" and it was a thought that was tied to a strong emotion, we deepen the memory trace when we repeatedly access that thought.
The same is true if we decide to stuff a thought-we'll perpetuate that stuffing. Or, if we yell, we'll keep yelling. (Yikes!)
We won't develop new responses until we develop new thoughts. That is why renewing our minds is so crucial. And renewing our mind with HIS word!
Scripture also teaches that we can accept or refuses thoughts. Instead of being held hostage by old patterns, we can actually capture our thoughts and allow the power of Christ's truth to change them:
2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
I can't control the things that happen to me each day but I can control the way I think about them. A lot of times my personal responses are not chosen by the situation, but by who I am around(ouch my own truth hurts)
Like if I am in public and my children are melting down about leaving the park
(or anywhere...see previous posts lol)....I often will respond rougher because I am embarrassed about who is judging them (me).
It use to be when I saw the park was full(and we were in the teachable "leave like a good happy boy so we can come back next time" phase)...
I would sometimes want to make up a quick lie and turn around and renig on taking them to the park but I did it anyways because I love them and love to bless them.
(And will continue too because the new me is going to continue to die to myself and be more like HIM)
So like usual after about 30 minutes I give the smart-parenting 5 minutes left announcement and even reminded the boys how they needed to leave the playground quickly and happily when it was time to go.
Fast forward 5 minutes and Lane is hiding up at the top of the playground structure because he doesn’t want to go home and Luke is weeping hysterically.
Did I mention that there were lots of other people on the playground?
Ahhhh, no. I had to climb up the playground equipment to pry off a tantrum-throwing toddler’s fingers from the death grip he had on the bars. Then Lukie, who is given to unrecoverable fits of emotion, was sobbing and ranting about how he never even made it to the swings.
The innocent bystanders were probably wondering if my children needed therapy.
What’s funny is I was thinking that I needed therapy.
My pride had been hurt. I had been embarrassed by the circus act that was our departure. I was mad that my boys chose to throw fits instead of be grateful as I had CLEARLY sacrificed a lot so that they could have a good time.
My reaction of course was not exactly how I intended it to be, it was rougher and NOT the mommy I want them to remember.
The boys were now quiet...After about 5 minutes, I could hear Lane sniffling. Then he quietly spoke into the silence, “Mommy, I’m so sorry for throwing a fit at the park.”
Then Luke echoing softy, “Saw-wee, Mommy.”
The wounds I was holding and the anger I was brewing and brewing...melted away and I thought about that scripture...“A soft answer turns away wrath.”
And we verbally forgave one another and I thought...
I am glad that my kids weren’t perfect.
Because if they were perfect then they wouldn’t learn to respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
If they were perfect then they wouldn’t learn repentance.
If they were perfect then they wouldn’t have opportunities to experience love through forgiveness.
If they were perfect then I might be tempted to pridefully think that their obedience was because of something I was doing right as their momma.
If they were perfect then we all wouldn’t learn to depend so wholeheartedly on our Savior.
So here I am...the new me...the momma who is laying it down, becoming glued(not unglued), intentional about what I care about most reminding you(me)...that next time your child is kicking and screaming on the ground in Target or running around the sanctuary after church like a wild man, instead of saying, “He’s not mine,” thank God for another opportunity to point your little ones to the wonderfully redeeming work of Christ.
(Boys at the park last year)
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