Mommy's 3rd Birthday Letter to Luke

(Matt and I decided that we were going to do our best to try and keep this blog up for our boys and to write them a birthday letter. So here is my letter for Luke!!)

My dearest Lukie boy,
I can't even start to type this letter without having tears in my eyes of joy.
Happy THIRD birthday!! How did you get so big!?!
You are such a blessing to me and have so many amazing attributes to your character and personality! But I must say the one that stands out the most is...
You are THEE FUNNIEST kid!

You are seriously ALWAYS doing something silly! I love that and encourage it maybe even a little too often;)

 From year 2-3 you really started to come into your own and not just try to be like your brother! You learned the word NO(thank you) and have completely utilized it well in knowing what you want and don't want!! You are amazing at deciding what you want. Sometimes it is a struggle to get you to do things you don't want to do because you are very strong willed and determined BUT that is not a bad thing....it's actually a very very good thing!! I am so thankful that you take a little extra convincing sometimes...because it gives me the opportunity to thank God that you are going to be such a leader in life and that is something I ALWAYS pray for you boys!!

You LOVE to read and be read too! And I am so thankful for that! 

You had a PERFECT check up again for your annual visit to the plastic surgeon from your major cranial surgery when you were a baby! God is so good! And we are so thankful!! 

Last year at your second birthday you were really into Thomas the train and all the characters! And while you still very much like Thomas you have evolved into loving steam engines, diesels, and monster trucks A LOT lately! You also have loved dusty crophopper from the planes movie and lightening mcqueen from the movie cars this year!

(You also got potty trained at 2 1/2!! While you still have the occasional #2 accident you were quite easy to go! You wanted to be just like big bro!)

You talked well at 2 and were so smart with knowing your abc's by then...how to spell your name your colors and counting etc...BUT NOW that you are turning 3 there isn't anything you don't know (age appropriate of course!) you even know how to recognize and read some words from watching Lane work on site words!! You always read play, mom, the, Lane, dad, it, train, and few other words! You can repeat every word of a book like no other now! And there is no way mommy can skip a word because you totally notice!! You know all your shapes (even the tricky ones) and you are amazing at knowing what all your letters sound like!! You are so fun to talk to and have great manners!!

You go to MOPS every other Wednesdays with mommy and even the nursery workers say how well you sit for the story and how interested in crafts you are now! You're growing up so fast!
And you DOOO love crafts! You love to paint, color, do stickers, puzzles...and especially PLAY-DOH! I think I may have used the word addicted a couple times with you and play doh because it brings you so much joy and you're attitude when you want it is very "nneeeedd" my play doh!;)

Your love language is defiantly still physical touch! You love to hold hands, be patted or rubbed, hugged, kissed, squeezed, tickled, rough housed...anything like that! (And I am so thankful for that because I love that too!!)
We have had a lot of good just me and you snuggle moments while Lane is at school and Lyric takes his morning nap! 

These moments are sooo soo dear and special to my heart...I don't even have words to describe how I love my moments with you and that smile! 

You have been a TREMENDOUS big brother to Lyric his first year of life...you love getting his binky or taking big boy toys from him to give him a baby toy for him to be safe!

You have also been an OUTSTANDING little brother too! You are so easy going about Lane going to school, or tumbling, and doing things you don't get to yet! Even though you want too go too....you never throw a fit about it! You are always so loving says "have a good day Lane" or "how was school today"
Sometimes when we go get groceries just me, you, and Lyric you will try to talk to Lane like he is still behind you in the car because you forgot he was gone! You love him so so so much!!

And man does he ever love you!! I wish you could see the way Lane protects you...how he is territoral of you in public and how when you get in your determined mode to get something he has...how he may fight for a quick second- but 99% of the time he give it to you right away because he just wants you to be happy!!

I am so thankful for the bond you have with your brothers! 

I am also SOOOO THANKFUL for the bond you have with me! You still are such a mommas boy!
Even though I think it may offend people when you won't let them do something for you and you'd rather it be mommy...I am ok with it. I know that this will be a season that passes and I LOVE that I am your greatest desire right now! You and I have such a great time together and I am so thankful for all the precious moments!!

I love how you are looking at me here!

I truley can't believe your two year old year is over! A lot of people call 2....the "terrible twos"....well that is not the case for you! You were a TERRIFIC TWO year old and While there defiantly was some "trying" moments...we are sooo past those and you have grown so so much!!

I am beyond proud of who you are and so in love with you!! I am excited what year 3-4 will bring! I can not imagine one single breath of my life with out you! You are a one man show! The light in the room, (that is actually what your name means "the bringer of light"), the brightness to a gloomy day, your own little party and we are enjoying you so so much!!

This is the verse I have picked JUST for you!!! I will always speak this over you Luke!!

Deuteronomy 31:6

6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

You are going to be a great light and encourager for many people and are going to be brave at introducing them into Gods kingdom! I know you have the determination to do GREAT and courageous things and I am so so blessed to be your mommy!!

I love you my sweet little Luke Alan (Lukie, qiqi, mommas boy, weeks, qiqi weekie)
Love
Mommy

AND NOW.....

For the BLOOPERS OF THE YEAR

As adventurous and brave that you are...here a few mishaps through the year...

Your first shiner...fell outside! 

You fell off the steps out back and skid your face

You pushed your feet on the table and pushed your chair back and hit your eat on the island behind you cutting your ear in half...this was pretty tramatic. The initial incident wasn't(you barely cried my sweet tough boy) BUT the stitches were beyond awful! I will never forget that! I cried right along with you as you screamed mooommmyy the whole time and poor daddy was so strong through it all but by the end of it got white as a ghost and the nurses caught him from passing out. We hated to see you go through that!! Then when you got them removed you sweated and cried so hard too and Even threw up!! 

And there was also the time where you were trying to get out of the tub while taking a bath while daddy turned his back for one quick second to get the towel and you slipped and hit your tooth on the edge of the tub. You knocked your tooth back! And there was lots of blood but thankfully with lots of prayers it didn't turn a funny color or need to be pulled and it has shifted almost exactly back into place. 

There was also this time (that I don't have  a picture of because you couldn't reay see anything but you could feel a HUGE bump!) that you fell (intentionally jumped off the swing set diving head first) and fell on the top of your head! Daddy was making dinner on the grill and I was nursing Lyric on the deck...and I think daddy made it across our very long yard in about three leaps! He looked like gazelle! He scooped you right up and ran you to me and you started throwing up. Concussion that time for sure!! 

***You defiantly keep us on our toes and are VERY brave and courageous!! 

SO incredibly thankful The Lord is with you whereever you go! 

We love you so very much, we are BLESSED beyond measure to be your parents and are so proud of who you are Luke!! 

Becoming glued....

As I continue to try to blog more I am feeling the pressure to keep up the "quality of my posts". Isn't that funny?! I am the one who reads this and hopefully someday my kids will find it refreshing and will be thankful their momma kept some sort of a running total but other than that I have no quota to meet or deadline to be on top of...yet I want it to be at its best- Why?? Because I care about it.

Isn't that the same about everything in life? We often want what's best for what we care the most about. Yet, we often fail the hardest in those same areas. It is kind of like when you were a kid (or a dramatic 15 year old girl) and you would come home from school completely shattered by your day, friends, boyfriend, etc...and you would lash out insanely towards your mom(who had warm cookies waiting when you walked in the door)....ok well maybe that was just me but it seemed like the one who loved me the most and who I loved the most I treated the worst(in those years).

I don't want to repeat those tendencies in my adult life.

And thankfully with the help of God I can succeed and put my best into those that love me the most instead of living in the "they love me no matter what" phase.

That is so true isn't it?

 Your family loves you no matter what-so why is it that we are super polite and loving wearing our best dressed Christian attitude to the ladies at the bank window-but then out husband comes home late from work or our kid spills his entire plate on the floor...satan literally looks polite compared to you?

Man I hate those unglued moments!

I have been reading a book called unglued and it is super helpful!! One thing I have grasped lately is that I need to change my thought pattern in order to change my responses.

The bible says...
Do NOT (emphasis mine) conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able  to test and approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing, and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

Renewing our minds with NEW thoughts is crucial.
I learned in this book that...

We forget most of our random thoughts, however we retain the thoughts that are tied to our emotions.

For example...if i thought over and over that I was "unglued" and it was a thought that was tied to a strong emotion, we deepen the memory trace when we repeatedly access that thought.
The same is true if we decide to stuff a thought-we'll perpetuate that stuffing. Or, if we yell, we'll keep yelling. (Yikes!)

We won't develop new responses until we develop new thoughts. That is why renewing our minds is so crucial. And renewing our mind with HIS word!

Scripture also teaches that we can accept or refuses thoughts. Instead of being held hostage by old patterns, we can actually capture our thoughts and allow the power of Christ's truth to change them:

2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we  take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

I can't control the things that happen to me each day but I can control the way I think about them. A lot of times my personal responses are not chosen by the situation, but by who I am around(ouch my own truth hurts)

Like if I am in public and my children are melting down about leaving the park

(or anywhere...see previous posts lol)....I often will respond rougher because I am embarrassed about who is judging them (me). 

It use to be when I saw the park was full(and we were in the teachable "leave like a good happy boy so we can come back next time" phase)...

I would sometimes want to make up a quick lie and turn around and renig on taking them to the park but I did it anyways because I love them and love to bless them. 

(And will continue too because the new me is going to continue to die to myself and be more like HIM) 

So like usual after about 30 minutes I give the smart-parenting 5 minutes left announcement and even reminded the boys how they needed to leave the playground quickly and happily when it was time to go.

Fast forward 5 minutes and Lane is hiding up at the top of the playground structure because he doesn’t want to go home and Luke is weeping hysterically. 

Did I mention that there were lots of other people on the playground?

Ahhhh, no.  I had to climb up the playground equipment to pry off a tantrum-throwing toddler’s fingers from the death grip he had on the bars. Then Lukie, who is given to unrecoverable fits of emotion, was sobbing and ranting about how he never even made it to the swings. 

The innocent bystanders were probably wondering if my children needed therapy.

What’s funny is I was thinking that I needed therapy.

My pride had been hurt.  I had been embarrassed by the circus act that was our departure.  I was mad that my boys chose to throw fits instead of be grateful as I had CLEARLY sacrificed a lot so that they could have a good time.

My reaction of course was not exactly how I intended it to be, it was rougher and NOT the mommy I want them to remember. 

The boys were now quiet...After about 5 minutes, I could hear Lane sniffling.  Then he quietly spoke into the silence, “Mommy, I’m so sorry for throwing a fit at the park.”

Then Luke echoing softy, “Saw-wee, Mommy.”

The wounds I was holding and the anger I was brewing and brewing...melted away and I thought about that scripture...“A soft answer turns away wrath.”

And we verbally forgave one another and I thought...

I am glad that my kids weren’t perfect.

Because if they were perfect then they wouldn’t learn to respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

If they were perfect then they wouldn’t learn repentance.

If they were perfect then they wouldn’t have opportunities to experience love through forgiveness.

If they were perfect then I might be tempted to pridefully think that their obedience was because of something I was doing right as their momma. 

If they were perfect then we all wouldn’t learn to depend so wholeheartedly on our Savior.

So here I am...the new me...the momma who is laying it down, becoming glued(not unglued), intentional about what I care about most reminding you(me)...that next time your child is kicking and screaming on the ground in Target or running around the sanctuary after church like a wild man, instead of saying, “He’s not mine,” thank God for another opportunity to point your little ones to the wonderfully redeeming work of Christ.

(Boys at the park last year) 

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All done fast

As I typed this title I couldn't help but laugh...if you have young kids you'll understand...when they are little it's like

"ooop All done _________" 

Fill in the blank(my blank is usually glue, paint, messy stuff!) and without even realizing it I typed it that way! Lol!!! 

Ok even though I tried to prepare my heart before typing this post let me start over....

MY FAST IS ALL DONE

(sounds a little better:)

I am a tiny bit happy (especiallyabout the   sweets part...like I said in my original post about fasting...I have a huge sweet tooth AND without realizing it while deciding to fast sweets....it was my birthday during this fast so I had to turn down my moms amazing brownie cake!! 

*DO NOT WORRY she is amazing and froze us some! And that may just be my breakfast after I get off this treadmill! Lol;)

I also have to be honest on the fact that I am not just a little sad about it being over but A LOT sad.

 

I feel like I have been on vacation with God! Like Him and I have spent the 

past 21 days having a deeper relationship!! 

I must say being apart of Facebook is great (especially for long distance people  where you might not bump into them and most importantly, to me, I LOVE being able to see my cousins and their kids, and my friends kids and all the awesome pictures of them) BUT with all of that it's easier to get wrapped up in the crap of the world too! Without even reading some of it just passing it by can add up on your heart without you even realizing it and well without it...

I have felt 

*less worried

*less time consumed 

*less stressed 

So that has pointed me too....

I need to use it less often!! 

I have always tried to have guidelines for myself with social media. Like don't use it when my kids are awake (and really I don't have time for that...they are busy busy boys that just don't lounge around watching tv much and trust me I'm so thankful for that! So since it's usually a lot of running, planning, gettin Into things, or getting owies at our house) I rarely only post a pic or two when they are awake! As far as looking and wasting time on it I found myself doing that before bed if Matt already fell asleep, or on the treadmill, or during naps if I have free time etc! 

What I found fasting from it was I spend WAY more time reading! Which I really love to do and did a lot before I had kids! It is nice for them to see me read a book once and a while too! I often read scriptures from my bible on my phone (and will continue too!) but I WANT them to see my bible out and using it daily! Also my mom got me two new books for Christmas "Bringing up Boys by dr James Dobson and "unglued" by Lysa Terkurst! I am loving them both! 

I listened to more sermons and even watched a little more tv(which I normally don't watch tv!) but there was a couple nights I laid in bed with my hubs and instead of checking my phone I read or we watched some pointless re runs and I really enjoyed it both!! 

The biggest thing that happened during this fast was one of my very best friends has been going through a long 5 week battle over her 3 year old little girl trying to find out what was going on with her very swollen lymph nodes and fevers etc! After a surgery and a lot of appointments they found out that she has a cancerous condition called LCH. 

Now let me say had I not been Facebook fasting I would have surely still been praying like a mad women through it all...but my time before bed, in the middle of the night, early morning quiet time, or working out...I used that extra "free time" to pray even harder!!! 

I am so thankful I had that time!! 

God spoke into my heart in a lot of ways and I tried to blog post about some of it! I am just super inspired to lay down my personal self desires. 

(i.e. perfectly cleaned up kitchen or a kitchen a mess full of crafts when I wake up in the morning...see first fasting post!)

God has delivered more than I expected. 

I HAVE self control over sweets! I don't need self control! Nothing has a hold on me and I don't "need" to have anything (like that) 

I also have self control over my internet time and social media too! And after a break from it  I feel like I had so much more time with Jesus that I don't want to muddy the waters! I loved our 21 day fast! I am excited to do it each year with our church and my husband! I'm not sure what God will lay on my heart to fast next time but I'm looking forward to it! 

31....

31....does that make me officially "in" my thirties?!? I think it changes my age bracket. On a card when you see the check your age box it is usually 

18-25      26-30      31-35  and so on. 

I'm officially in a new box for 31. It's mind blowing to me to think I could even be thirty something...I feel like my parents should be that and I am still much younger inside! I remember when I turned 21 I said to my Grandpa Raguse..."isn't it hard to believe you're youngest grand child is TWENTY ONE??!!" And his response was "yes especially since I am still only 21" He said he wakes up and looks in the mirror and thinks "who is that old guy?!"  

It's so true that we "feel" way younger than we often are! (However when my husband and I are asleep every night of the week before 10 o clock I often think "Man I am so tired....gettin' old" but that's not really the case. I think parents of young children(boys lol;) are just tired!) 

     

     I am thankful and I think it is so cool that we "feel" younger on the inside! Can you imagine if it were reversed?

What if we felt older on the inside but looked younger on the outside?! 

We would most likly be less encouraged to go...go...GO ! We would probably say "I don't feel like it"....

It's cools how God works and if you take a second to dissect some of the awesome things He does it makes you go hmmm well that is really clever!

He has thought of every. Single. Detail. 

When I feel overwhelmed by all I "need" from God....for myself and other people I often think....He can handle all this! I mean look at all He CREATED! Surely if He can create he can "perfect", alter, redeem, change, etc....

Like I said in my last post I have a desire to become more like the Proverbs 31 women...and well since I just turned 31 yesterday I figure this is the PERFECT year to focus on that!! A lot of these are in a general stand point and some areas don't need not a lot of work (I.e. Being trustworthy to my husband....um...I'm obsessed with Him so pretty sure you can consider that trustworthy. However I know I can respect Him more on every little detail and not need to get my way and I want to "honor" him even more!)

The 10 Virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman

1. Faith - A She serves God with all her heart!  She seeks His will for her life and follows His ways. (Proverbs 31: 26, Proverbs 31: 29 – 31, Matthew 22: 37, John 14: 15, Psalm 119: 15

2. Marriage – She respects her husband!  She does him good all the days of her life. She is trustworthy. (Proverbs 31: 11- 12, Proverbs 31: 23, Proverbs 31: 28, 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, Genesis2: 18)

3.  Mothering - She teaches her children the way of the Father. She nurtures her children with the love of Christ, disciplines them with care and wisdom, and trains them in the way they should go.  (Proverbs 31: 28, Proverbs 31: 26, Proverbs 22: 6, Deuteronomy 6, Luke 18: 16)

4. Health – She cares for her body. She prepares healthy food for her family. (Proverbs 31: 14 – 15, Proverbs 31: 17, 1 Corinthians 6: 19, Genesis 1: 29, Daniel 1, Leviticus 11)

5. Service - She serves her husband, family, neighbor with a gentle and loving spirit. She is charitable. (Proverbs 31: 12, Proverbs 31: 15, Proverbs 31: 20, 1 Corinthians 13: 13)

6. Finances - She seeks her husband’s approval before making purchases and spends money wisely.  She is careful to purchase quality items which her family needs. (Proverbs 31: 14, Proverbs 31: 16, Proverbs 31: 18, 1 Timothy 6: 10, Ephesians 5: 23, Deuteronomy 14: 22, Numbers 18: 26)

7.  Industry – She works willingly with her hands.  She sings praises to God and does not grumble while completing her tasks. (Proverbs 31: 13, Proverbs 31: 16, Proverbs 31: 24, Proverbs 31: 31, Philippians 2: 14)

8. Homemaking – She is a homemaker.  She creates an intimate warm feeling for her family and guests. She uses hospitality to minister to those around her. (Proverbs 31: 15, Proverbs 31: 20 – 22, Proverbs 31: 27, Titus 2: 5, 1 Peter 4: 9, Hebrews 13: 2)

9. Time - She uses her time wisely. She works diligently to complete her tasks. She does not spend time dwelling on those things that do not please the Lord. (Proverbs 31: 13, Proverbs 31: 19, Proverbs 31: 27, Ecclesiastes 3, Proverbs 16: 9, Philippians 4:8 )

10. Beauty – She is a women of worth and beauty. She has the inner beauty that only comes from Christ! She uses her creativity and sense of style to create beauty in her life and the lives of her loved ones. (Proverbs 31: 10Proverbs 31: 21 – 22, Proverbs 31: 24 -25, Isaiah 61: 10, 1 Timothy 2: 9, 1 Peter 3: 1 – 6)

All of these areas are so important to me and I pray that I can get into a habit, routine, and desire to seperate all these areas and better each of them this year!! 

Oh a side note... For my 31st birthday my hubby got me a new tattoo! I have been wanting to get the Hebrew word "towdah" on my wrist for a while now (in the Hebrew translation) and I finally did! 

Here is a picture and I LOVE the meaning!! 

Becoming..."uncomplicated"

Some of my "goals" this year were to try to better the areas I struggle with. One of them is how I handle a stressful situation when it is thrown at me! Such as...my husband having to work late when I have to be somewhere or just in general the in convince of things not going as "planned". Well after some research in a time where things aren't going as planned (currently I have been having a terrible allergic reaction to "something" that I'm not sure what and I think now I am allergic to whatever they gave me to try to fix it)! I found that....
      An uncomplicated woman knows that when chaos arrives, she can either add to the chaos and prolong it or she can remain calm and keep the situation from blowing out of proportion. I have a goal to become calm when I see my husband or children getting upset. I am still working on this and certainly do not get it right every time (or very often for that matter).  But I know that I have the power to deescalate a situation and I am trying to learn how to put this power into practice.
How do I bring calm to a chaotic situation?  Well, first is there a way I can avoid it altogether? I have know myself and my children and what my family can handle.  I must learn how to think ahead and think through situations realistically so that possibly, I can avoid a chaotic situation.  This means I understand and accept what stage of life I am in.  If I have young (napping age) children, I am not going to attend a birthday lunch that starts at 1pm. Learning how to avoid chaos means learning how to say no to something that sounds like fun but will have me in a heap that evening or the next day.
But when I do find myself in a chaotic situation, I have to keep my head.  I have to rise above and coach myself…

This situation is really not that bad.
I will not feel like this forever.
I can handle this.
I am a strong woman.
I am bigger than this.
I do not have to win this argument.

And most importantly, I am not alone!  Isaiah 43:2 says

When you pass through the waters, 
I will be with you; 
and when you pass through the rivers,
 they will not sweep over you.
 When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; 
the flames will not set you ablaze.

I can be calm in the midst of chaos because I know that no matter how difficult my situation may seem, I am promised that I do not have to handle it alone.

Part of becoming an uncomplicated woman is learning how to identify when a high stress situation is coming your way so that you can be prepared for it. 
Can I handle these situations?  Or will I cry and complain to everyone in my life about them. 
What about a stressful day?  Can I rise to the challenge of motherhood (a task that I prayed for to begin with!)?  Can I laugh at a tough day?  Can I throw a birthday party or have people over for dinner without making my family miserable all day long as I prepare for guests?  I am cringing as I write this because I have done this so many times.
I may be overloaded, but I am not going to let myself become overwhelmed. Here’s what I have researched and found and am going to work on. 

1. Anticipate a high stress situation.  Ex: We are having a dinner party and invited 2 families over.
2. Mentally prepare myself… “I am going to straighten the house but it is going to get messy.  
3. The kids are going to mess up the play room.  My floors are going to get dirty.  This is ok.  We will have a good time.”
4. I have the freak out moments in my head.  I just don’t let them come out of my mouth, or in my attitude.
5. I ask for help.  Whether it is getting my kids to help clean up before company comes over, or asking a friend to help me throw a baby shower instead of doing it all by myself.

I want to be like that Proverbs 31 woman, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” (31:25)

Starting my year off fasting!!!

     This year my hubby and I have decided to join our church in their annual 21 day fast! When I was growing up we did different 30 hour famines and things of that nature so I kind of knew about fasting and praying but never really have experienced it in my adult life. 

One time we fasted from Facebook in the midst of trying to decide if we were going to leave or church or not...mainly because we wanted to open up an area in our life that we could go deeper in our time praying an recieveing God's want for us and not be so consumed with Facebook (ever) but defiantly in the middle of such a decision! I do feel like it was a great 2 weeks not being online! 

However I still had other distractions with Instagram and pinterst! Those little social media apps can really use up your time so quickly!! 

   So currently I am fasting from:

Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest 

ANNNDDD.... SWEETS!!!!!

 Gaaahhhh! 

I feel like such an addict when it comes to sweets! And I know lots of people fast from food the whole time or partial fasts like Elijah, John the Baptist, Daniel etc and those are also good challenges to over come but for me...sweets is defiantly a challenge! I prayed about it and knew immediately that was what I needed! NOT at all to lose weight but because that is something my flesh craves! I am praying in the want for that sugar! 

I know this fast is going to bring me to a deeper realationship with God! I am believing that I will have a revelation of hearing from Him and am expecting some self control in lots of areas 

      i.e...the internet, sweets, etc etc!! 

My heart was challenged in a hundred ways to be a better mom this year.

And this cannot happen unless I am fully satisfied and filled up with Jesus.

He is what it ALL comes down to.

JESUS.

The gospel is what I want to give my kids more of this year.  I want to pour out on them the joy and forgiveness and patience and kindness that He has shown me through His work on the cross.

When their early wake-up rituals threaten mysanity joy, I will remember that JESUS laid it all down for me.  And I will lay down my desire for sleep.  No complaining.  No fussing.  I will joyfully rise to serve.

Because that’s what Jesus did and I want my family to see the gospel in me.

When tempted to blow a gasket over the messy house...I will remember that JESUS laid it all down for me.  And I will lay down my desire to live in a perfectly spotless home.  I will lay down my need to be in control of every little thing.  And I will laugh at the explosion of Play-Doh and smile at the Sharpie lines in the carpet and the drawing someone did with pen on the couch cushion.

Because I want my family to see the gospel in me.

When I feel that nagging despair that no one sees or appreciates the 100 million loads of laundry I do or 6 trillion dishes I wash every day or the bazillion hours I spend correcting and training my darling little boys, I will lay that down, too.  Because the gospel is not self-seeking.

Because when we are truly living in the fullness of the Good News WE DON’T NEED THE PRAISE OF MAN.

When I want to fret and be anxious over the boys – their health, their behavior, the weird noise they just made in their sleep – or worry about our finances, my marriage, friendships, jobs… I will lay it down because Jesus trusted His Father and lived a life of open-handed surrender to the One who knows best.

I want my family to see the gospel in me.

When I want to check out and be distracted (ahem – iPhone), I will lay that down, too.  Because Jesus shows us that people – relationships – are more important than things.

I want my family to see the gospel in me.

When I want to punish my children with cold silence and disappointment, I will instead choose to quickly extend forgiveness and throw in a tickle fight, because in Jesus there is absolute freedom from sin.

There is great love and great acceptance.

And in my dying to all the things that my human, weak, frail flesh wants, I discover the abundant, happy life in choosing Jesus.

That is the gospel.

I desire more of Him – more of the gospel – more of what He did and what He provides this mommas  heart than anything else in this world.

And when I’m weary of laying everything down, I will remember that the gospel is most beautifully communicated in our weakness – remember that.

Stay humble.  Repent.  Submit.  Obey.  Trust.

And love lavishly.

Here is to fasting, praying, receiving, and becoming MORE like HIM! And to do that I need to spend more time with HIM!!